I had the unique opportunity this weekend to witness some friends’ marriage renewal ceremony. I left the small eastern Iowa church with the feeling that such a ceremony, performed in front of friends and family, could only serve to strengthen a marriage.
For the record, prior to yesterday, I thought vow re-commitment ceremonies were more or less useless. I guess I grasped the whole romantic aspect of having one, but completely misunderstood the practical. That is, once a person had stood in front of others and vowed to do something, there is a great want to fulfill the promise.
First-time weddings are filled with mumblings about love, when too often those standing before family and friends are filled with something much less than love. Strong affection is present to be sure. So is infatuation and caring. But I don’t think real love is fully understood so easily.
In contrast a renewal ceremony is filled with reality — of selfishness, of financial difficulty, of differences of opinion, of health concerns — and ends with a vow that despite all of these known obstacles the two people still believe they are best, and the community is best, when they are together.
In realizing all of this, my mind was brought back — as it often is — to politics. In so many ways, the way people enter into and react with politics is similar to the dance of love. Many of us enter on a whim, often related to one particular issue or person. We become infatuated and have unrealistic expectations that are shattered, rebuilt and then shattered again.
Most of us understand that we have a choice. We can walk out. We can find a different partner. We can simply refuse to discuss politics anymore, even as we realize that it will continue to impact us regardless of our own ignorance. Those of us who decide to stay the course despite the heartache do so because we believe that we are better, politics is better and, yes, even the community is better when we work together.
